After my divorce, I felt a strong call to return to the jungle and work with the plants in ceremony. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for. I only knew that something in me wanted to find its way home.
In one early ceremony, I felt like I was going to die. I knew that my life wasn’t in danger, but the fear felt completely real. A deep void opened around me, with no way out. My identity, my perception—my very sense of self—began to disappear.
Then I felt my heart again. I could feel how tightly I had closed it, the armor around it like stone: fear, trauma, rigidity, anger, aggression. Suddenly, I started crying and crying. I couldn’t stop. It was the most healing cry I had ever felt.
As I cried, I remembered deciding long ago never to cry anymore. I had cried for comfort, but comfort didn’t come. I learned to close my heart to survive. In that ceremony, I could finally breathe into it again.
After decades of feeling trapped, my heart felt open and free. My relationship with the plants changed; I began working with them more deliberately. Through integration and Core Energetics, I saw how old protections lived in my body and shaped my relationships and choices. I learned that what opens in ceremony needs tending at home. This is why I offer this work: to honor the depth of what happened and help you carry it into your life, one step at a time.